I will now be on Tamoxifen (an anti-estrogen medication) daily - it is a 10 year regiment (at least). I dropped the prescription off at the pharmacy on Monday and it had to be ordered, so I just picked it up yesterday. I read over the side effects and SHEESH! Scary! But, the literature actually states that for women with breast cancer, the benefits of the medication greatly outweigh the side effects. Let's pray that NONE of the scary things happen!
I will also be on an injection (Zoladex) every 3 months for 5 years (at least). The injection will essentially "shut off" my ovaries. Considering that my cancer is estrogen positive, I need to either have my ovaries removed, or take this injection every 3 months. According to the doc, it will definitely force my body in to menopause. He seems to think that the menopause symptoms I experienced throughout my chemotherapy were mild compared to what I will experience with the injection. He said, "you will hate me once you start experiencing the menopausal symptoms"
g-r-e-a-t! <-- also *dripping with sarcasm*
I called my gynecologist today and left a message to have her call me. I won't see her until December for my annual exam. I want to hear what she has to say regarding the 2 new meds and what they might mean for someone with PCOS. Don't get me wrong...I trust my Medical Oncologist, but I also know that she (my gynecologist) has been doctoring with me for 6 or more years with my bilateral ovarian cysts. I want to see what her medical opinion is on these meds and my history, etc.
I want to know if the meds will affect my cysts, what my chances are (statistically) to ovulate and conceive with PCOS after having been on these meds for any length of time, whether my eggs will still be viable, and what types of risks I may endure with PCOS and any changes or surges in hormones while trying to establish ovulation and/or trying to conceive...not to mention once I would be pregnant. *sigh* So many questions. While I realize that not having my own biological children is not the end of the world, I just feel so damn cheated by the cancer! I honestly truly feel that the cancer is cheating me out of motherhood! I support adoption...fostering...and fostering to adopt. I would consider it, whether I can conceive or not...but, it's just NOT fair!
My Medical Oncologist told me that if I were older, had at least one child, or could definitively tell him that I am not planning a family in the next 5 - 10 years, then he would recommend that I have my ovaries removed instead of going through with the injection to stop them from producing estrogen. He also told me that if I decided that I want to have a child that it would have to be a planned pregnancy on many levels including weaning me off of my meds, etc. He asked me to seriously consider whether I would be having children in the next 5 or 10 years...then decide whether to do both the shot and Tamoxifen...or opt to have ovaries removed. It's a lot to absorb right now. I thought we were past that particular subject. I have heard that there can be spikes in hormones in pregnancy and that those spikes can cause and/or feed cancer....that scares the bejeezus out of me too...just as much as the idea of not ever having my own biological children!
Yesterday (Wednesday), I was supposed to see the Radiation Oncologist, get my treatment (radiation) and get 're-simmed' for my boost treatment. I only saw the doc...seems that while my side effects are completely normal and to be expected (I have been through chemo so my skin has changed, I have fair skin and light eyes, and I'm large busted), they were not expected YET. I'm not even at my halfway mark. So, the doc decided to give me a few days off to allow my skin to heal a bit. It seems that the skin under my arm is starting to break down, and the skin under my breast is also starting to break down but isn't nearly as bad as under my arm yet.
can you tell that my right breast (the one with the green marks and stickers) is a different color than my left breast? it's not only more pink/red, but the areola and nipple are darkening as my radiation progresses
the area under my arm where my skin is breaking down
(notice the appearance of a darker square shape on my side)
this is when it first started under my arm
I am to keep it covered with the Aquaphor ointment
I have also been experiencing some changes with my body hair
(eyebrows and eyelashes)
here I am with a little bit of peach fuzz
(am I the only one that sees the bald spot
on the middle of the top of my head?!)
do you see how sparse and light my eyebrows are?
close up of right eyebrow
close up of left eyebrow (notice the sparse eyelashes too?)
close up of sparse/missing eyelashes on left eye
close up of sparse/missing eyelashes on right eye
Finally...have any of you all been curious about WHERE I go every day for Radiation? Admit it - you are! :)
...here is the radiation treatment room...
...and here is the ceiling in the radiation treatment room...
pretty, huh?
the green trees look like they have coconuts growing on them
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